It's impossible to describe with words the amazing lady who made me. I have one of those moms that’s good at everything, which makes it a real challenge to be “just like mom”. She reminds me of Barbara Eden on “I Dream of Jeannie”. Whatever you need she can wiggle her ears (instead of her nose) and get it done.
My mom raised four kids too, except she had three girls and one boy. We were fairly confident kids, we new mom was there, but never overbearing. I don’t ever remember my mom complaining either, even though I’m sure we were worth a “good long complain” a few times a week.
She taught us early how to do the dishes, sweep the floors and do our own laundry. Maybe it’s because I have more boys, but I haven’t been as lucky in teaching mine. They love to do the chores, but if left unsupervised, they go a bit overboard – using a quarter inch of water to clean the floor, or a half bottle of dawn just to rinse the dishes before they go in the dishwasher, and at least 18 paper towels to clean up the smallest spill.
My mom had patience beyond what I can muster. As she created craft sale items, she’d set us up to make our own little projects – decorative pins, hair bows, painted things, boo boo bunnies, and she’d let us sell them at the show and keep the money. I still drag out the a good ol’ glue gun and a tin of buttons to make a masterpiece or two with the kids, but when a button ends up glued to the table, and the tin gets tipped, spilling the rest to the floor, I’d rather call it quits than laugh it off. She always let us decorate the cookies for the holidays, and painstakingly paint molds with candy melts to make fancy Christmas chocolates. She’d even put the splotchy, hideous ones we made out on the tray for Grandma’s house, so we could show them off.
My mom taught me the right way to play with your food – like creating pancakes in any shape we can imagine. I’ve gotten pretty good at making pancake snowmobiles, 4-wheelers and princess crowns. I also remember all of us kids crowding around her, mesmerized as Mom carved a watermelon into an animal shaped fruit bowl and hand-decorated whatever we wanted on our birthday cakes.
Mom is quite the seamstress, making us clothes when we were little, as well as Halloween costumes, and holiday dresses – letting us pick our own patterns and fabrics at the fabric store. She even made our school uniforms and my wedding dress and all my bridesmaids’ dresses.
She walked me through crocheting a dress for my baby doll when I was about 12. Taught me how to sew, cook, balance a checkbook, and even got us “jobs” at her jobs – mostly filing - during our Christmas and Spring breaks, but we loved feeling so responsible.
I realize now how my mom could have done things easier and faster by herself, but she always took the time, as excruciating as it might have been, to let us do and learn. I forget to do this sometimes, when dinner is already late, or I have a million things to accomplish and not a million hours to do them . But the best way to learn is to do and my mom did this well – she continues her admirable patience with the grandkids now, letting them each add their ingredient to the pancake batter and mix it in, when she could just dump them all in at once.
Even now that we’re grown, my Mom is always there for us. In college my laptop wasn’t working and was sent in to be repaired. When Best Buy wouldn’t fess up to what happened to it, it was gone longer than it should have been, and multiple visits to pick it up only resulted in lies and excuses, my mom went to the customer service desk and in her perfected Queen Bee tone, told them they were producing my computer or getting me a new one. After scaring the pants off the poor service guy, he confessed my computer was being held hostage due to a bankruptcy at the company that was supposed to repair it and I walked out of there with a new computer. I must learn this skill!
And when my first child was born, she came to help for a few days, it was such a relief to have a pro on-site when you’re worried about doing everything wrong. She came for the next three arrivals too, watching the siblings-to-be and keeping them busy when I came home with a new little one. She stayed only a few days, as we settled into a new routine. Then she’d float away like Mary Poppins leaving a well-prepared house behind. I shed a few tears each time she left. Partly hormones, I’m sure, but mostly because I was so grateful to have a mom willing to give not just her time, but care, comfort, and a clean house, at a time when I couldn't really give anything in return (unless you count the new grandchild). And she always made it look so easy. I hope I can return that favor to my kids someday.
Maybe the best way to describe my Mom is “Magic”. I’m in the midst of this mom thing and I’m still not sure how the trick works. But I’m getting an idea. As parents we have an audience all the time. We are the show, and our biggest fans, who may occasionally get a little rowdy and throw tomatoes, are mostly mesmerized by what we moms can do.
The magic of mommyhood isn’t from fairy dust or some lucky kid rubbing a lamp to find an ear-wiggling genie. It’s love. Plain and simple. It’s love in every handmade Halloween costume and decorated birthday cake. In every time I didn't have to eat the Lima Beans. And that night we spent changing each other’s scribbles into pictures. In every time I pick up a crochet hook, sewing needle or spatula and think “my mom taught me this”. And, when I sing to my kids and remember all of us in the living room singing “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree”, trying to get my little brother, Ricky, to fall asleep. Your actions, patience and all the effort you put into teaching us was the best kind of love, and it made us the capable and maybe even a little bit magical adults we are today.
Thanks Mom, for being “magic” for me, and now the grandkids. I’m still mesmerized
