One Mom. Full Hands.

We live in the country. And as I mentioned before my husband works a lot. If I want groceries, diapers, the occasional large hazelnut iced coffee from McDonald’s, it’s a 45 minute trip to town, just me and the kiddos.

And because my business PO Box is in town, we make the trek two to three times a week. Usually we hit the grocery store one day and Target the next trip getting the required essentials and equally necessary impulse buys. Without fail, for the last, well 4 years, when my first son was born, I’ve had someone tell me each time I’m in town, that I have “My hands full”. My first and second are only 18 months apart – so it looked like I would be busy, but really it’s nothing compared to now.

This weekend, leaving Sam’s Club – pushing a cart with one hand, two year old in the seat, as I carry my, yes, 20lb 6 month old in the other arm, and my 4 and 5 year olds flank each side of the cart, making my one handed steering near impossible. I hear, again, not even directed to me, but to the two people this woman was shopping w/ “She has her hands full”, prompting her co-shoppers to look our way. Don’t they know Mom’s have bionic ears? We parade by, the circus side show that we are.

Hearing this phrase so often, I’ve started to wonder what these people “mean” when they say this. It’s one of those phrases that is neither nice or rude. Kind of a weird statement of my existence w/o and support or criticism of it. And I’m usually left wondering how to reply. I’m guessing the lady that said it to her shopping friends meant it as more as “Check out the crazy chic w/ 4 kids!” Generating the same amount of interest and excitement as seeing a farm animal crossing a busy road. Kind of a “who let them out of their pen” sort of thing. Other times, especially when it comes from the little old ladies, I think it said w/ a “been there done that” sort of vibe. A little knowing smile and a wave to the kids. Gives me a bit of reassurance that someday, I will actually be able to shop on my own again. I maybe gray and have cat fur on me, but damn it, I’ll be buying Depends on my own!

I really just find it so odd that people have to comment at all. And if so, why not something with some value. For example – Maybe tell me that my kids are cute, or that you had 4 and you survived, or how it’s nice to see someone with so many young kids have them be so well behaved in public. Or… if they must – tell me that condoms are in aisle 12, or clown car parking is in the back of the store.

I converse with children all day. I really don’t get much exciting news to talk about with other adults. I would welcome an unusual comment… a story to tell… something to write in my diary. Please! My husband and friends are sick of hearing about the crazy things my kids tell me Phineas and Ferb are doing. Next time you see someone shopping with a herd of kids – throw them a “Dang Girl! You gotta lot kids!” At least then I can reply with a “I know! WTF huh?!”